After reading Crissy Page's This Moment challenge to bloggers to blog about what blogging used to be about, sharing life - I thought it was a great way to share a piece of me. A little bit about what has been going on in my life for the past few weeks. I share things about my life but nothing this personal, nothing this deep.
Back in November my Grandma got ill. For the remaining part of last year she was in and out of the hospital. Right before Christmas she was put back in the hospital and Mia and I jumped on a plane to see her with the thought that it would probably be the last time. As a self described tough old bird she bounced back again and we got to enjoy a nice but short visit with her.
With a plan to vacation in Hawaii we planned our trip to include a week before and a week after in California to spend additional time with my Grandma. I had a feeling that I needed to have this time with her. Even sick and weak her great sense of humor shined through. She played with Mia, they laughed and laughed.
I spent as much time with her as I could. I brushed her hair, massaged her arthritic hands and even polished her finger nails. Leaving for Hawaii last Saturday, we gave her lots of hugs and kisses and told her we would see her in a week.
After a wonderful vacation we visited Grandma Sunday morning (It was much too late Saturday night when we returned). Unfortunately she was slipping away. How it is possible for someone to fade so much in a week is beyond me. Yesterday morning I sat alone with her. I had just posted my Wordless Wednesday blog post with one hand while I held her hand with the other. I ran out of things to tell her so I was playing my favorite iTunes playlist and singing to her. I wanted her to know she wasn't alone and that I wouldn't leave her. But I had no idea it would be then, it didn't seem real.
She took her last breaths while I sat holding her sweet hands, the hands of an angel. It was a blessing to be there for he in her final moments, knowing she was not alone. I am thankful for my time with her. So today, right now in this moment we sit mourning the loss of my wonderful Grandma. She was amazing to me in more ways than words could describe. I cannot seem to think of anything besides her and never thought it was possible to miss her more than yesterday but - I do. There won't be a day that goes by that I don't think of her and the impact she had on my life and on those around her.
It is comforting to share a bit of my #ThisMoment. Unfortunately for me this moment hurts but I know that the hurt will pass and the beautiful memories will overshadow the pain.